My Why
I am sat in a cafe in Sutton Coldfield. I have been teach prenatal yoga and postnatal yoga for a few years now and I am slowly building up my gorgeous retreats for mums at all stages, but how did I get here? and why? Why did I decide to slowly step away from Nuclear Medicine and turn to being a pre and postnatal Yoga teacher?!
I became a Mum in 2016, it was something I’d always known I wanted to be. I thought I’d be a ‘natural’. I was good with other peoples kids, I had it all planned out. How I would feed her/teach her to sleep/manage everything and then I met her! It turns out babies don’t read the books, it turns out having your own is a bit hard than looking after someone elses, it also turns out I hadn’t anticipated the huge shift in what I would think, what I wanted, how I would feel now this little hypothetical baby was here with her gorgeous brown eyes and her toe curling cry!
To say it didn’t quite fit the very organised idea I had in my head would be an understatement. Everything changed but what shocked me most was how I changed, how I felt about this gorgeous little thing that had turn my world inside out and upside down. It turns out that, for me, the hardest part was actually getting to know myself, readjusting my expectations and learning how to stop people pleasing. Dealing with all of this whilst having very little sleep and no family or close friends around was hard! I had postnatal depression and anxiety and, although I met an amazing group of women, it took me a while to really let people in. I was sad, lonely and didn’t recognise my body. I didn’t feel like me, didn’t look like me and, actually, it turns out I didn’t really know who I was any more.
Then one day I decided to start doing yoga again. I started a 30 day challenge thinking it would help ease me back into exercsie, which it did, but what I hadn’t anticipated was how 15-20 minutes a day for me, focusing on my breathing and trying not to be a falling tree would give me a break from the mental chaos in my head. I didn’t realise how much it would slowly lead me back to me and slowly help me find a stronger happier me. How prioritising my own needs instead of becoming a matyr would benefit everyone. It has taken time, 8 years and counting, but I am a world away from where I was a few months after my eldest was born. I am also a world away from the person I used to be, well not all of her just the insecure, people pleasing parts.
So this is my why! I don’t want any other women to feel like I did, The metamorphosis yes, absolutely! But you don’t need to do it alone, you don’t need to feel alone, you don’t need to wait years. Start today, it may not be with me but find your women, rediscover yourself, tune back into you and tune out all the societal bullshit!
If you are interested in joining my pre or postnatal Yoga classes (with and without little ones) or giving yourself even more time for you and joining one of my gorgeous Retreats the please get in touch
Kate xx